So, yesterday I got my knickers all in a twist about the launch date again. It struck me that if Shannon is teaching in the classroom instead of just online at the college in the spring of 2017 he won’t be done until middle of May, and I could see myself sitting around waiting for the house to sell with nothing to do (by the way, me with nothing to do is pretty funny in itself) while he is still working for two months. So I suggested that we both officially retire at the same time.
Shannon doesn’t seem to be affected by the absolute date, it’s just an abstract number out there for him and it can kind of float around the calendar and it doesn’t bother him. For some reason, I need that number to be constant and concrete. And while I hate moving it forwards (part of me would like to leave tomorrow), the extra two months won’t really matter in the long run.
May is a really nice time to put the house on the market. Salvia and poppies are starting to bloom. Iris and penstamon are beginning to make their presence known. There is fresh asparagus for munching. The peach tree is showing promise. So much potential!
I think what I’m having trouble with is the having one foot in the future with the new exciting plans and preparations while I’m still in the present. There is momentum to be selling things and shopping for our new home and planning our travels while I am still required to be present at my work and at home. Remember “Be Here Now”? Sort of a mantra for the 70’s that engendered a lot of self indulgence and lack of personal responsibility. I’m resurrecting it for myself to mean to pull back, slow down, take a breath. It is important for me to be able to stay present and continue to enjoy this life and this home that we have created for ourselves. Two years may seem like an intolerably long time but it will fly!